Monkey Journalism

Another Example Of Poor "Journalism"

2005-07-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

How About A New Concept For "Journalists": Report The Truth

A recent article concerning the US birth rate noted that almost one in four US births are to foreign-born mothers. The article spoke of the problems and concerns of having interpreters available. What the article failed to mention is that approximately 42% of births to immigrant mothers are to illegal aliens. This is just another example of the press being politically correct and afraid to write the truth.

Skippy

Police May Murder Innocent Monkey

2005-07-16T17:38:00.000-07:00

The "Owner" Is The Problem!

A monkey in Columbus, Ohio escaped from a cage of his owner and now there is a massive monkeyhunt on. The Noble County Sheriff's Office said:

We're going to make every attempt to take him alive, and if that can happen it will," Detective Stephen Hannem, of the Noble County Sheriff's Office, said Wednesday. "But we're not going to risk anyone else being injured. If the sheriff's office finds it, odds are we're going to shoot it.

Let me remind you all that this matter is the fault of the owner, not the monkey. Monkeys are not pets, they were never meant to be pets, and they should never be in cages. Let them the hell where they belong, in the wild!

Skippy Gets His Matricula Consular

2005-07-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

Now I Can Get On The Gravey Train

Shield Law for Journalists

2005-07-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

What Journalists

A shield law for journalists is all the rage lately. The only problem is just who is it going to protect. When was the last time you actually saw a journalist?

Citizen Journalists Are A Pain

2005-07-14T23:47:00.000-07:00

Just Like The Other Journalists

This story says citizen journalists can be "intrusive and insensitive" by doing things such as trying to take insensitive photos of the injured and getting in the way of emergency workers. If this is the line to be drawn distinguishing citizen journalists from "real" journalists then it is indeed a faint, if not invisable, line.

Rather and Newsweek Get Excellence Awards

2005-07-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

For What?

Dan rather and Newsweek receiving excellence in journalism awards just goes to show how right CBS is when they think the future of journalism is on the internet.

CBS Bets on Internet

2005-07-14T23:39:00.000-07:00

Duhh

CBS is apparently going to significantly expand its online presence, betting that this is the future of journalism. Well doggies, Jethro, they finally figured it out. The next question is who is going to become the Dan Rather of the internet. Well, Skippy is available!

Persistent Vegetative State

2005-07-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

Schiavo Or justice Stevens

If you take a look at the supreme court and think to yourself that justice Stevens is senile, there are plenty of people who agree with you. Just Google up "stevens supreme court senile" or something akin and you will get plenty of hits. The question being whether he is one step above or below where Terri Schiavo was.

Stevens, 85, has sat on the court since 1975. Fox News is reporting that sources have told them that Stevens hired two law clerks from Yale University in the last two weeks, suggesting that he has no intention of stepping down. The two law clerks may also indicate that the man is a senile old fool, as many have suggested and his actions have shown.

Skippy

Rehnquist Will Retire

2005-07-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon New Idiot

That's may guess. After all, the man is 80 and is battling thyroid cancer. You can say you heard it from Skippy or read more about it here. And if you are inclined to say that he will stay on and grow more and more senile, as most of them do, then there are plenty who agree with you as well.

Skippy

Little Georgie Falls Off His Bike

2005-07-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Maybe He Needs Training Wheels!

All afternoon I have been hearing about Bush falling off of his bike. And I'm the monkey? At least he has health insurance, something many of us cannot say.

Ok, let's start a fund to buy little Dubya some training wheels. Send your donations to:

Dubya's Training Wheels Fund
1600 Penn. Ave.
Washington, DC

Skippy

Whisper This!

2005-07-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

Skippy Whispers Too

Monty Roberts was the original "Horse Whisperer." He developed a method of communicating with horses using their natural body language and never used violence towrads the animal.

After he gained fame with his techniques, suddenly everyone was a "whisperer." There are dog whisperers and cat whisperers and probably monkey whisperers. Now there is going to be a TV show called, "Ghost Whisperer." I whisper too, right after I eat a big bowl of chili.

Skippy

You Bleached Your What??

2005-07-06T00:59:00.000-07:00

What Will They Think Of Next?

No, it doesn't make your brown eye blue, it whitens it. Fortunately, I have heard that most places also will remove any unwanted hair from the same location at the same time.

Skippy

Congo The Chimp's Painting Featured At London Auction

2005-07-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

A recent auction at Bonham's in London featured three paintings by Congo the Chimpanzee. They were purchased by an American, one Mr. Howard Hong who paid more than $25,000 for the trio of paintings.

According to Bonham's, Congo was born in 1954 and died of TB in 1964. During his lifetime, he produced approximately 400 drawings and paintings, his prolific years being between the ages of 2 and 4. It is reported that Pablo Picasso had a painting by Congo on his studio wall.

The same auction featured paintings by Renoir and Andy Warhol, but neither artist's work sold as everyone seemed more interested in the work of Congo.

That's Dr. Skippy To You

2005-07-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Skippy Gets his Ph.D.

I have been awarded a Ph.D. by Blogstadt University, the University that offers easy degrees for stupid people, and my name is proudly listed on the official graduates page of the university.

I have been looking forward to this day and eagerly anticipate all of the fringe benefits that it has to offer. Ain't nothing like a Ph.D. to impress all of those females at the zoo, or Madonna for that matter.

Skippy

Simian-American

2005-07-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

As a simian, I have to take issue with the following:

...a group of computer scientists are developing artificial intelligence that can write a story on its own when given the facts. Bob talks to computer scientist James Lester about the technology that’s threatening the livelihood of journalists - and monkeys."

That's Simian-American, or person of hair, to you! Anyway, if you want to hear about this technology, surf here and listen. It's an old story, but very interesting.

Skippy

Dubya - Two In One

2005-07-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

An Insightful Political Commentary by Skippy

It seems that several Presidents have had brothers, who intentionally or unintentionally, have been been a pain to their President brothers from time to time. Jimmy Carter had his brother Billy and President Clinton had Roger. And in our current president, we get a two-fer.

Skippy

Skippy Interviews Nancy Grace

2005-06-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

Nancy Grace:

Last week, I caught up with this southern, bleached blond who is having a bad hair decade. Here is a transcript of the interview:

Skippy:
Hello, how are you?

Nancy Grace:
You're guilty, you stupid simian! All I can think about is all of those innocent children who you refused to turn a flip for and make funny faces at when you were at the zoo. I think about them, the innocent victims, who you deprived of a normal childhood!

Skippy:
Well, actually we are here to talk about your new book.

Nancy Grace:
What the hell did you mean by that, you guilty bastard? The book is about dastardly defense attorneys and their slimy clients. They are all guilty, they don't deserve attorneys. I don't know what ever gave those idiots on the courts the idea that people deserve an attorney. If they are arrested, they are guilty, period! We proved that in the deep south 50 years ago and it's still true.

Skippy:
You criticized jurors who write books about big trials and others who make money from them, yet you did not mention the money that you are making from these trials....

Nancy Grace:
Guilty, guilty, guilty, that's what you are. How dare you attack me for being a hypocrite. I am a former prosecutor, I can do or say anything I want to and it's ok because I am working for justice. Besides I am always right. Michael Jackson was guilty and Robert Blake was guilty, no matter what the jury said. For that matter the jury was guilty for listening to the evidence. Their job is to listen to the prosecutor and then find guilty. You got that, monkey brain! Now go buy the book!

end of interview